You may be wondering whoever reads this why it says Thanksgiving ‘battle‘ and not something nice like ‘weekend‘ or ‘family get-together’-well that’s because my family, at least my mother’s side doesn’t get together without fighting.On Wednesday I fought with my mom about taking my own dog on the trip since my Aunt already said it was okay with her and he had been to her house before. My mother wanted me to leave the dog with friends who had offered to watch him, but I like having my dog with me. He’s fun to be with and he gives me excuses to leave situations like family fights because “Oh, uh, Squishy needs a walk I have to go out, bye!”
I won the first battle and Squishy came with us. He was well behaved the whole time including the long drive to Boston. Of course we stopped for everyone to go to the bathroom and he went there, but otherwise he was quiet and never made a fuss.
We arrived in Boston in the late evening so we all went to sleep. Squishy and I went straight to the attic where we would be sleeping the entire time on a flat board futon with not mattress, I don’t know what I slept on, it hurt at first and then I liked it (that’s what she said...oh gross)
Okay, so technically day one while we’re in Boston everyone wakes up and from the moment we get up we’re all cooking and cleaning the house together. Everyone wants different foods and won’t eat this or that because of diets or whatever other reasons. It was getting to be too much so a few of us (Squishy included) went for a drive to a local farm that had a nature trail and went for a hike for about an hour or two. There I had to push and pull my parents as we went up hills since my mother isn’t used to walking that much and my father has a bad knee.
When we got home; apparently while we were gone my Grandmother was going through my Aunt’s things and didn’t like how things were going in her house. So a little after we got in my Grandmother was telling my Aunt how her house is dirty and she doesn’t take care of her son (my uncle) and basically putting her down until she cried. So, of course we all came to my Aunt’s defense and support her even though she didn’t want it. My Grandmother pretty much just walked away when we all told her it was inappropriate for her to talk the way she did and that some things she should keep to herself. Battle 2
After that we actually had a nice dinner, we even went around the table saying what we’re thankful for, and that’s when Squishy would not stop barking. My mother has always fed him from the table, so that’s the only time he barks. When you’re eating, because he knows you’ll give him something if he sits next to you and barks to let you know he’s there. Otherwise he will scratch at your arm to pull it town and hope you drop the food in it. I fight with my mother all the time about this because it’s taught him something bad and annoying. Of course she never listens and then my Grandmother started giving him food, then my Aunt & Uncle’s dog, a large golden comes in and wants food from them. Basically they act through the whole dinner that they aren’t giving the dogs food, but now we notice there is quiet here and there between barking which means they’re both feeding the dogs even though we’re all telling them to stop. Battle 3
Black Friday!
I, like a young Macaulay Culkin was left home alone in the attic while everyone went out. I watch movies online all the time so I’ve seen pretty much anything I would be interested in seeing already, but my family went to the movies. Some might’ve said, “Jenn, just go to the movies anyway to be with your family and sit with them.” That’s well and good only no one wanted to see the same movie, so they all went to different theatre’s even to see all different movies while whoever else didn’t want to see a movie went shopping. I’m not a shopper. I only like to shop for other people or for myself when I already know what I want and I pretty much go in, get it, and leave. My mother went shopping. She bought some things we don’t want or need as usual, but she was nice enough to get me new hair clips since mine broke while we were up there and of course I was thankful. This days battle was a fun one. After everyone got home we played games together. All having fruit in the titles for some reason, but we enjoyed them. We had fun, we laughed, but we’re all very competitive and so we battled to see who was the best and of course my mother and I always fight over who gets a higher score.
Battle 4
Yesterday was supposed to be our last day. We were supposed to come home Saturday evening after leaving in the late afternoon, but that didn’t happen. We went on another nature hike, which was probably my favorite part of the trip. Afterwards we ate yet again. I went upstairs to exercise and then a few of us went Candlestick Bowling. For those of you who don’t know what it is, it’s basically bowling only your ball is a lot smaller with no holes. The pins as you guessed it are stick like and for some reason you get 3 balls a frame and you bowl 2 frames a turn, but still get 10 frames. So while Candlestick bowling my mother convinced my father to reluctantly stay another night so that as a family we could drive my sister to the airport the next day instead of my uncle doing it even though my uncle knew how to get there and my father had never been.
Battle 5 A
Battle 5 B
While at Candlestick bowling my mother was fighting with me about something I wasn’t paying attention to so she tried to pour water on me. I instinctively swatted her hand away and water went all across her shirt and she got up and changed her seat. My dad didn’t even notice, but apparently while she got up she took my shoes and hid them so when everyone was leaving bowling I couldn’t go until I had shoes to leave. Nice, mature parent I have there huh? Well wait for the biggest battle of them all and the reason for the women fighting at the top of this.
Battle 6 The Thanksgiving Battle
We were all having dinner together at a cramped table since we had been using the dining room to play games. We shrunk in on the kitchen table with 11 people to have dinner. My younger and only sister has always been gross. She picks her nose and eats it to this day when she thinks no one is looking and some people may chew on their finger nails, she’ll chew on her toenails when she can reach. Where is this leading? Well we were having dinner and she kept rubbing her feet on me so I moved because they were brown from dirt and I had just taken a shower. She knew I hate getting dirty right after a shower. I don’t mind getting dirty in general, I mean when I baby sit sometimes we make mudpies, but this was over dinner and again the shower. So she sees she’s annoying me and so she muffles up my hair after she’s been eating meat in BBQ sauce with her hands for 20 minutes. I couldn’t help it, I pushed her away basically smacking her arm to get her off of me and so she knew touching my face with her dirty hands would be a great way to get back at me and she rubbed them all over and I could feel the grease from them on my clean face which is a huge pet peeve of mine. So, it was pretty much on right there. We got up from the table because I was going to leave and wash my face and get away from her. Only she kept rubbing my hair and face with her hands and then trying to tickle me in between so I couldn’t cover my whole face the whole time. Basically I had no choice, I had to do something. So I tried tickling her to get her to stop. Only, for some reason tickling turned into full on wrestling while my dad was cleaning the dishes from dinner and everyone else in the family was still sitting at the table watching the entertainment.
At one point she had me in a head lock and was giving me a nuggie so I literally flipped her over wrestlers style (I dated a guy who liked wrestling I guess I caught on) and she always went into the dogs water bowl. Then she had me in a leg lock, but I squeezed myself out of it as the dogs started barking and my mother slunk by us to get a video camera. At one point a shirt was ripped, a boob almost came flying out, and there were weggies for sure. Eventually when I had her hands behind her head to get her to stop and we were uncontrollably laughing from it all she said she was going to pee herself and so I let go because I couldn’t stop laughing, but what really made us stop was at that moment, my mother who was tapping the fight laughed so hard she started farting and farting along with her laughs. The two of us fell to the floor laughing so hard we couldn’t take it. My Grandma got up and threatened us to stop since she wasn’t sure we were really done and we both went to her about to tickle her and said, “we think we can take a 74 year old” she said she disowned us and walked away. Then we got up and took the dishes off the table and everything was back to normal.
Afterwards we changed to relax in the evening and I went downstairs to go to the bathroom because again I was in the attic, and my mom tries to fight me. She pushes me around in the hallway and tried to snap my bra off. My sister got that one on her cell phone and sent it to a few friends. All the while we were sending messages to our second cousin via facebook status update messages when he said he was on his way to Boston because we told him he missed the best night.
Afterwards we all played Apples to Apples, my Grandma hugged us and told us never to fight again, and we all went to sleep. Then drove back to NY today and now my mother, father, Uncle, and Squishy are eating pizza and I have to get downstairs before the pie is gone...or before there’s another battle.
